THIS is lockdown.

@mumologist posted yesterday about the importance of sharing the messy, chaotic and the fretful; because on these (mostly) beautiful squares the potential to feel inadequate is great indeed. 

I work to reprogram the imagined ideals of our subconscious minds, and there’s a lot of them:

• How we parent,

• how we birth,

• how we work,

• how we look,

• how our homes look,

• how we teach - when we never chose that particular profession.

So, under the magnificence of her post, here is my current reality. #thisislockdown

I have seven-odd plates and bowls of half-eaten breakfasts and eggshells on my kitchen table; the six year old (and eggshell culprit) will not write a single word for his English task because (even at his own admission) he is ‘too lazy and too tired.’ 
He is now standing very close to the 10 year old who, if she wasn’t participating in a live lesson, would bash him with something hard and scowl as if she wished great misfortune upon him.

There is a glue gun by the gas hob because we are rustling up a Mighty Mountain range from all the recycling. ALL. OF. IT. So now, all the empty yoghurt pots and toilet roll tubes that I have reminded everyone to ‘put in the recycling boxes - it’s not difficult,’ are NOT in the recycling; they are everywhere. 

The dog has recently developed some odd association with the kettle boiling meaning that that is her cue to want to go outside, so whenever she hears this she slides about like a mad thing, knocking her water bowl and bashing into the bin, in order to get to the back door. This is not helpful.  

The 12 year olds favourite line is currently ‘what can I have to eat?’ which I’ve come to suspect means, ‘could you make me a culinary masterpiece?’ because all suggestions are met with noncommittal shrugs - perhaps he’s just interested in the contents of the cupboards? NB: I’ll write him and itinerary for when he asks again.

I haven’t looked in my wardrobe for anything remotely exciting to wear in a long time. I throw on whatever I have to hand, which is unlike me, and although liberating, is less so now.

So this is my alternative perspective for the grid. You are not alone in the chaos. You are not inadequate. You are enough.

#staycritical #lockdown #familylockdown #homelearning #homeschoolinglife #reality #realitycheck