Supporting the Supporter: How to Empower Birth Partners During Birth

When we think about birth preparation, most of the focus naturally falls on the birthing person. But there’s another essential player in the room—the birth partner. Whether they’re a spouse, friend, family member, or doula, birth partners are the steady presence that can profoundly shape the birthing experience.

Why Birth Partners Matter

A confident, calm, and well-prepared birth partner can help protect oxytocin levels, reduce fear, and create a safe, loving space for labour to unfold. They are the voice when words are hard to find, the hands offering comfort, and the anchor when waves of intensity rise.

Studies show that continuous emotional and physical support during labour leads to better birth outcomes—less intervention, lower rates of abdominal birth, and higher satisfaction with the birth experience. In other words, supporting the supporter directly supports the birthing person.

How to Support Your Birth Partner to Support You

1. Prepare Together

Birth partners need more than a vague “you’ll be great” pep talk. Attend antenatal classes together, explore hypnobirthing techniques, and make sure they understand the physiology of birth. When they know why certain things help (like dimming lights or avoiding unnecessary conversation), they can confidently advocate for you.

2. Make a Shared Birth Plan

This isn’t just about ticking boxes—it’s about understanding your priorities and boundaries. Talk through every possibility so your birth partner knows your wishes and how you want to handle changes if plans shift.

3. Build a Comfort Toolkit

From massage techniques and breathing cues to snacks and hydration, equip your birth partner with practical tools. Sometimes the smallest things—a cool flannel, a reminder to breathe—can make the biggest difference.

4. Practice Advocacy

One of the most vital roles of a birth partner is to be your voice when you can’t speak for yourself. This means learning to ask questions, request time, and hold space for your choices without rushing decisions.

5. Look After Them Too

Birth can be long and emotionally intense. Encourage your partner to rest, eat, and take short breaks if possible. A burnt-out birth partner can’t give their best support, so it’s okay for them to care for themselves, too.

The Ripple Effect

When a birth partner feels prepared, trusted, and supported, they’re more able to be that calm, grounded presence you need. And when they feel confident in their role, you’re more likely to feel safe, empowered, and connected throughout your birth.

Because the truth is—birth is a team effort. Supporting the supporter means everyone wins.

Lizzie x