Taking Charge: How to Get the Best Out of Your Midwife Appointments
Pregnancy can feel like a whirlwind of appointments, advice, and decisions. Midwives are there to support you, but sometimes it’s easy to feel like you’re just following a schedule rather than actively steering your pregnancy journey. The truth is, you can take control—your appointments can be your opportunity to learn, ask questions, and ensure your wishes are understood and respected. Here’s how to make the most of every visit.
1. Prepare Before Each Appointment
Preparation is key. Arrive with questions, notes, and any concerns written down. Think of each appointment as a mini-lesson about your body, your baby, and your options.
Keep a pregnancy journal: Track symptoms, questions, and observations.
Write down priorities: What’s most important to you for your care and birth plan?
Bring support if needed: A partner or friend can help remember details and advocate for you.
2. Early Appointments (Booking and First Trimester)
The first few visits are about establishing care, understanding your health, and planning for the months ahead.
Ask:
What screening tests are available and what do they mean?
How can I maintain my health and wellbeing?
What warning signs should I be aware of?
Challenge/Clarify:
If a test or recommendation doesn’t feel right, ask why it’s needed and what alternatives exist.
Make sure you understand your options for prenatal vitamins, vaccinations, and lifestyle guidance.
Take control:
Make notes about anything you want to discuss in future appointments.
Start thinking about your preferences for birth and postnatal care.
3. Mid-Pregnancy Appointments (Second Trimester)
This is often the “learning stage” of pregnancy. You’ll check growth, discuss screening results, and start more detailed planning.
Ask:
How is my baby developing and what do the measurements mean?
Can we review my birth plan options?
What classes, resources, or support groups do you recommend?
Challenge/Clarify:
If any advice feels overly medicalised or unnecessary, ask about the evidence behind it.
Confirm procedures and tests—are they routine, optional, or conditional?
Take control:
Research your options ahead of time so you can ask informed questions.
Think about pain management, birth environment, and who you want present at birth.
4. Later Appointments (Third Trimester)
As your due date approaches, appointments become more about preparation and practicalities.
Ask:
What signs indicate labour is starting, and when should I call?
Can we go through the birth plan step by step?
What should I know about interventions like induction or C-section if needed?
Challenge/Clarify:
Ask for clear explanations of any hospital protocols.
Make sure your wishes are recorded and understood, but be open to flexibility if complications arise.
Take control:
Discuss pain relief options and alternative methods like hypnobirthing, breathing techniques, or water birth.
Make sure your support team knows your preferences.
5. Make Every Appointment a Learning Opportunity
Remember, midwives are there to guide, not dictate. You can:
Ask “why?” whenever a recommendation is made.
Request written information if you need time to process.
Take notes or record discussions for your own reference.
Keep a clear record of your preferences, questions, and answers.
6. Assert Your Wishes Respectfully
Being informed and assertive doesn’t mean being confrontational. Clear communication helps ensure your care aligns with your values:
Use “I would like…” or “I prefer…” rather than apologizing for your choices.
Ask for your preferences to be added to your medical notes.
Review your options repeatedly—decisions can evolve as your pregnancy progresses.
7. Extra Tips – ADHD-Friendly Edition
Use apps or journals: Keep a digital or paper record of your questions, observations, and your midwife’s advice. Apps with reminders can help you remember what to ask at each visit.
Bring your notes each visit: Having everything in one place ensures nothing is forgotten, and you can quickly reference past advice.
Check your hospital or midwife website: Many provide FAQs or educational resources tailored to each stage of pregnancy—great for reading in small, manageable chunks.
Break it down: If you have ADHD, consider dividing your questions into “must-ask” vs. “if time allows,” so appointments feel manageable.
Set reminders: Use phone alerts for prep tasks like logging symptoms, noting questions, or checking test results.
Highlight or colour-code: Use markers, tabs, or digital highlights to make important items stand out.
Final Thought:
Your pregnancy is your journey, and your midwife is your guide. By preparing, asking the right questions, challenging respectfully, and keeping clear records, you take control of your care and ensure your wishes are heard. Every appointment is an opportunity to learn, advocate, and feel confident about the path ahead.
Lizzie x
💌 Grab Your Free Midwife Appointment Toolkit
Take charge of your pregnancy with questions, prompts, and reminders for every stage. Download my toolkit for free! Print it, stick it on your fridge, or tuck it in your journal. Designed to be fun, easy to use, and empowering—tiny daily wins for a calmer, happier pregnancy.